Christmas traditions, when families collide!

So me and my husband's families both have different Christmas traditions, for me we just stayed at home the four of us. We got up opened our presents, had breakfast, played with said presents, had lunch around 3pm and then carried on playing with presents or watched Christmas films in the afternoon/evening.

My husband on the other hand opened some presents in the morning, went round to one of his mums friends for nibbles and visited other relatives or friends, home for lunch and then carried on opening presents in the afternoon until his sister had one left and 'won' as the last one to have a present to open! (I kid you not and this still happens today and she is 28)

So when two families come together what do you do, before we moved in together and got married etc we would both stay at our parents and then meet up in the evening. Then when we moved in together we stayed at home or went to one of the parents house.

The first year after having my son, we stayed at home and the following year we had my parents round for lunch, then last year because I was heavily pregnant we went to my in laws but the day was pretty awful to be honest.

We opened our presents to each other, then went over to my family to open presents with them and then about 1pm went to my in laws to open presents and have dinner. We didn't end up eating till gone four and by time we had finished it was time to go home again, the day seemed short and my son didn't get to enjoy any of the presents like I remember doing as a child.

This year my son wants a scooter, I have visions of him going outside with his Daddy after we have had breakfast and playing with his new scooter! Not of us waiting in for family to arrive or traipsing round to them etc etc.

I want it to be like when I was little, mum making dinner and dad with the kids building and playing with toys whilst watching Home Alone or Toy Story!

So what are your traditions, did you have to compromise or did you make your own that resembled nothing you grew up with?

My mum has invited us over to them but it means one of us can't drink and we will either have to leave all of our toys at home or traipse them over to my parents house. She seemed most upset when I eventually declined but surely she can understand as we never went anywhere at Christmas!?!

It is so hard to try and arrange something that doesn't upset one set of parents or the other, really all I want to do is make me and my little family happy and stuff the rest but as a person with a conscience I cannot do this without feeling bad.