End of a journey...maybe?

So I breastfed my son for 20 months, I am still breast feeding my daughter and had intended to until she was at least one. But my spots are so bad at the moment I fear the only way of stopping them will be by going on the pill.

But not the mini one that you can go on whilst breast feeding because that sent me mental last time!

So it means I will have to stop feeding my daughter, but can I bring myself to do this in the name of vanity?!? Or maybe it is in the name of sanity, I think my hormones have gone pretty mental causing me to lose it on occasion and also these hideous and might I add flipping painful cysts on my face.

I have been managing to cover them up with make up but there is only so much I can do without looking like I work on a make up counter.

Anyone who knows me can see something is different as I have gone from wearing very little make up to lots in a matter of weeks!

I can't believe how stupid I sound as I know it could be a lot worse, but for me it is bringing on slight feelings of depression, a feeling of not wanting to go out! When I do I am trying to hide behind my hair :(

I have an appointment at the hairdressers next week and I cannot even bring myself to think how I am going to cope sitting under bright lights in front of a mirror for a few hours!


I have the doctors this afternoon, a lovely doctor who has helped me so much in the last few years, I am hoping she won't tell me there is nothing she can do!

If anyone has suffered with this and has some miracle cure that isn't going to cost me then I would be forever in your debt!

My confidence is waning severely! Help!